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  • May. 21st, 2009 at 12:31 PM

so its been about a month since i last posted. i posted my current weight being 157.2, and in that month i havnt lost or gained, just maintained i guess. i weighed myself this morning and i was 156.0 . ive made a list of things to do for june/july.
  • stop drinking soda
  • drink a glass of water or tea every single hour
  • sit outside and tan for at least 20 minutes a day
  • no meat except grilled chicken
  •  weigh 135 by the end of july

i think the hardest thing will be not eating meat. but i know i can do it. and being 135 is only losing 21 lbs. last summer i lost 17 in one month so i think i can lose 21 in two months..i hope. my friend is going to give me her riddilin to help me..



Apr. 26th, 2009

  • 3:23 PM

Breakfast- English muffin-120
snack # 1- cookie-100
Lunch-Quesadilla-180
Snack # 2- cookie-100
Dinner-salad-90/pizza-200
______________________
Total=   790


not too bad, considering ive been non-stop binging for like a month. and i havnt eaten dinner yet so i dont know if im going to eat the pizza, or just have salad, and i rounded up on the salad, just to be safe..if i dont eat the pizza my total will be 590, that would make me happy if i could resist the pizza. i am finally getting back on track...

Stating weight:157.2
GW # 1: 150

Tomorrow:
Breakfast-tea-0
Lunch-apple-70/banana-80
Dinner-salad-35
______________________
Total=  185

  • Mood: blah

Porcelain Doll

  • Apr. 20th, 2009 at 11:12 PM

porcelain doll with tangled hair
people pass or stop and stare
they just look at her like she is nothing at all
so she keeps her back against the wall
she can't let them in, she can't, she won't
someone loves her, but most people don't
the pain she endures, again and again
she just wonders when it will end
her elegant clothes are ripped and torn
and her parents regret the day she was born
her beating heart has melted down
her stunning smile, a perfect frown
her shinning future, a dead end road
her flowing words, a hidden code
once beautiful eyes, now dark and dead
and voices screaming inside her head
her perfect skin, now dark and bruised
her stopping beauty, now gone and used
a perfect heart, now buried alone
a pitch dark place where light once shown
once poised flight, with song and dance
a life of hope and true romance
an empty place of lies and needs
where evil comes and goes with ease
porcelain doll with tangled hair
shattered dreams and hopeless despair
a radiant star, now a big black hole
trying to replace what innocence stole
porcelain doll, a murdered youth
her losing fight, a deadly truth



  • Mood: tired

Apr. 14th, 2009

  • 9:56 PM

OMG i hate math, it makes me want to shoot myself...!!!! anyways, im starting abc next tuesday with a friend...im so excited...i really hope i can stick to it...my last day of school is in 20 days which means summer is in 20 days, i need to get my butt in gear!!

staci orrico-stuck=OBSESSED!!!!!!!!!!seriously listen to it, it is great

Apr. 11th, 2009

  • 11:10 PM

12 years old, i get my belly button pierced looking at myself thinking "just suck it in". 7th grade is pretty normal, still a little self conscious, but dont do anything about it.my sisters boyfrined is living with us, he is 10 years older than me.im taking a shower and he knocks on the door saying he has to use the bathroom, so i get out and start to walk out and he pushes me back in and shuts the door and shuts the light off. he then pushes me down on the ground and starts to touch me. this happens some more but i am too scared to say anything.  8th grade, my life takes a turn for the worst. i make a new friend. i think she is great. we hang out all the time, having fun. then i discover that she hates what she looks like too. she teaches me how to throw up, and she tells me about diet pills. i fins some in my moms bathroom, and steal them.i keep them in my dresser. soon my mom finds out and i get in BIG trouble. she find the diet pills in a box, along with all the things i use to cut myself, but she doesnt notice all those things, she is too into herself to notice that. so continue cutting. freshman year, i get an amazing boyfriend and i become happy and like the way i am. things go normally for about 2 years, i dont lose, i dont gain, i just kind of stay content for the most part. end of my junior year, i restrict, eat less lose 17 lbs in a little over a month. my current boyfriend loves me and cant keep his hands off of me. my eating then becomes so bad he threatens to send me to theapy and tell my parents. i promise i will do better, and then i slowly start gaining..and here i am now..

BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Apr. 11th, 2009 at 10:10 PM

AIM
tornya05

  • Mood: bored

dilema!!!!!

  • Apr. 3rd, 2009 at 9:41 PM

what can i add to plain oatmeal to make it taste good that is low cal?????
please comment!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Mood: high

HELP!!!!!!

  • Mar. 30th, 2009 at 4:15 PM

when you guys set goals, or make a plan, how do you stick to it? what keeps you motivated to stay on track?
i need some serious motivation right now...
please comment...
sstt

  • Mood: mellow

Mar. 29th, 2009

  • 8:07 PM

how long will it take me to read 75 pages, just like normal sized font and regular length pages...

Mar. 29th, 2009

  • 4:33 PM

t has been brought to my attention that april is on wednesday..and also that means 61 days til my birthday..18!!!! yay!!! so here are my goal for april and may..

         April
  • lose 11 lbs
  • buy a tanning package for 1 month
  • go tanning at least 3 times a week
  • NO junk food, (no fast food, no energy drinks, no candy, and only 1 soda every 3 days)
  • lose at least 6 lbs before i buy my prom dress
  • buy a prom dress,AT THE LATEST, the 17th
  • work on my relationship with my boyfriend
  • stretch EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!
          May
  • got to prom on may 2nd, and not worry about food...just have fun with my boyfriend
  • lose at least 8 lbs by my birthday(may 31st)
  • go outside for at least 15 mins every day
  • stretch EVERY SINGLE DAY
  • graduate!!!!!!
  • get a job as a waitress for the summer
  • save as much money as possible before college
if everything goes as planned, i will have lost 19-21 lbs by my birthday, which will put me between 132 and 130 by my birthday. if im at least 135 i will be happy though...

What are everyone elses goals for april, please tell me so i might add them to my list. thanks
sstt

10 things

  • Mar. 28th, 2009 at 9:26 PM

so ten things about me.....
  • i actually like going to school
  • i live in colorado
  • i write down what i eat every single day
  • i had head gear
  • i hate hanging out with girls, all my friends are guys
  • my favorite movie is grease
  • i wish i could wake up and be a different person
  • i try really hard to impress people
  • i want to be remembered when i graduate
  • i have cheated on my boyfriend

pointless post, sorry

???

  • Mar. 11th, 2009 at 9:05 PM

question?....

is it easier to restrict when you are in the dorms?or at home? im just wondering if this will get easier next year when im not around my family? or if your roommates still bug you just as much?


any input would be greatly appreciated..

sick

  • Mar. 9th, 2009 at 11:18 PM

well not feeling too well, been throwing up. i think i got the 24 hour flu or something, but ive lost 1.7 lbs since yesterday from it so there is a plus. all i had today was soup and crackers and some powerade zero that my boyfriend brought to me....it tasted just like strawberry jello..YUM!!i love him to death, he would do anything for me..

hope everyone is having a fantastic day
stay strong and think thin...

Mar. 8th, 2009

  • 4:16 PM

ok so ia have been doing pretty good lately..ive had some amazing support from [info]anas_circus  . today was not too bad either

breakfast:
small bowl of captain crunch=160

Snack:
banana=50
chips and salsa=120

off to work so my total for today is
330

not too bad

have a great day everyone

New food ideas....

  • Mar. 5th, 2009 at 9:02 PM

so i had a mini binge yesterday(1000 cals MAX) and i gained, but i was completely in control today.i had 310 calories for my whole day.tomorrow me and my boyfriend are going to work out. and i'm going to fast or get some salad from panera . but i'm cashing my check tomorrow and i need some new stuff:

~new journal
~special k snack packs
 
and some new rules i've set for myself:
* NO food after 6 pm
* exercise for at least 30 mins a day
* NO junk food(soda, fast food, candy...)




What is everyones favorite healthy food?
i need some new ideas of what to buy

I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Mar. 4th, 2009 at 11:36 PM

ok. so i havnt post in about 13 weeks. i thought i could do this on my own but LJ really helped me stay on track. i know nobody will remember me but thats ok, i love making new friends!!!!!!!!!!!!so here are my stats as embarrassing as they are:

5'7
CW:  146.8
HW:  158
LW:  138
GW1:  144
GW2:  138
GW3:  132
GW4:  126
GW5:  120
GW6:  117

anyone with similar stats/goals?


im glad to be back.....

HEY

  • Nov. 30th, 2008 at 4:22 PM

hey everyone..i got an itouch so if anybody needs to talk or needs support, i will talk

my AIM  is tornya05

please message me if you need anything
im here for everyone

stay strong

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Nov. 25th, 2008 at 8:46 PM



            Anorexia

put a smile on, walk out the door
i just cant take this anymore
pretend i'm ok, pretend i'm fine
but i know i've crossed an inevitable line
i've lied to you, i've lied to them
their perfect daughter, a breaking gem
they don't see the pain or the hurt
all they see is the laughs and comfort
but i'm not ok, i'm not fine
how far is too far over the line?
this has to end, it has to be now
this is it, here's my vow
i hope you're happy, i hope you're glad
this is all because of you,
dad.

  • Mood: depressed

HELP,ADVICE,SUPPORT??????

  • Nov. 14th, 2008 at 4:15 PM

so my eating disorder has taken a new tole. the other day i got off work and went to the store..i bought pringles,apple danish things, and 3 bags of beef jerky. i ate ALL of it in the parking lot, drove a little ways on some back streets and threw it all up. i have never done that, EVER!!! i havnt binged since then but it was like i was a robot, i didnt really even realize i was doing it. it was just kind of automatic..i dont know what to do.but the last thing i ate today was around 3 so i should be ok for the rest of the day. i had gained so i was back up to 145, but this morning i weighed 143.8, i know that is still disgusting but at least im losing. and my newest obsession is diet coke. i never liked it before but i tried it and i drink it all the time now...

if anyone has advice or support for me i would really appreciate it..

stay strong..

  • Mood: blah

HOMECOMING PICTURE

  • Oct. 20th, 2008 at 8:46 PM




this is me and my BF at homecoming, please tell me what you think of me.sorry if the picture isnt very good... please be honest and harsh. tell me what i need to improve.

  • Mood: calm

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